The Staleness of Marriage

Can marriage engender a feeling of ennui and become stale? I believe it can and when it happens one must dig deep in one's resolve to find a way out. But what causes boredom in marriage or even leads to a depressed state of mind? I sense that it begins when the marriage is taken for granted and the things and activities which one once shared and enjoyed are dissipating with the realization that eventually those very things and activities will be no more. It is then one becomes bore and frustrated. It is at this point that the marriage thread is at its weakest and either partner can become vulnerable.

Boredom in marriage also occurs when one partner thinks that everything is alright and feels comfortable without contemplating that the other partner needs his or her undivided attention. Surprisingly, that partner becomes lonely inside the marriage. Yes, marriages do go through some emotional tensions that can be worrisome to either partner. It takes a keen observer with the emotional intelligence to spot when something is wrong and search the soul of their partner to understand what is going on. One must hear the cry for help before its too late.

Communication now becomes the key to unlocking that introverted type personality in one's partner. A husband and a wife must always talk with each other and express their innermost feelings. Real communication occurs when the message sent by the emotional distraught partner is received and sensitivity exhibited by receiving partner in dealing with the emotions of one's better half.

To the readers of this blog, be aware that a marriage can easily become stale and boring. The funny thing about it is that some couples do not realise when complacency has taken over a marriage. Here are a few signs:

• When television replaces lively conversations between husband and wife.
• When one partner suddenly spends more time with friends or find refuge in the neighbour's home.
• When the activities one shared cease to exist or are minimized.
• When the wife bedroom apparel is unappealing.
• When the husband fails to romance his wife.
  
• When one partner becomes bored and cannot decide what to do.
• When drinking or smoking becomes intense
• When one partner splurges.
• When no one cares.
  

Be observant and show more than a cursory interest to your partner's behaviour and be quick to rid your marriage of any staleness that creeps in from time to time. Keep the flame burning.