Do you know what is love? No husband or wife should have to ask this question.
You would not have gotten married, if you did not love your husband or wife. Oh Yea! If that's the case why are we having so many divorce cases? Why are many of us complaining of neglect? Why is there physical and emotional abuse in the marriage?
Next time you say "I love you", think of what you are saying because love is an important ingredient for the making of a lasting relationship in marriage. But what is love?
Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. The word 'regard' means 'attention' or 'concern'. Therefore, when you tell your partner that you love him or her, you are actually saying that you will give the attention and show that high level of concern, which should not be cursory thing.
'Affection' refers to that tender attachment or fondness, which engenders an emotional feeling whenever you think of, hear or see the person. So in essence when you say, "I love you" you are actually committing yourself to be ever vigilant, that is, keeping a steadfast watch of the person's welfare and be unyielding in your tender loving care. Your feeling of attention, consideration and positive emotions should be of such that your partner receives positive vibes emanating from you to create a spiritual bond - one flesh!
Love is not a strong sexual desire. In marriage, sex should be based on love and must not be an inordinate craving for intercourse, but a vaginal embrace of the male organ that emphasizes a pure union of husband and wife, in which two are made one. In marriage, love knows no lust. The sexual feeling of the married couple is simple ineffable, a feeling that does not dissolve but gets stronger each time husband and wife engage a romantic experience. Real love does not subside or die. It is a fresh as the morning breeze.
Try to reach this height in your marriage.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Agony of Forgetting the Birthday of Your Wife
What ever you do as a husband don't forget your wife's birthday.
I have forgotten my mother's birthday and was forgiven. My daughter called me to informed me that her birthday had gone and I had not called to say, happy birthday. I was forgiven. I forgot my wife's birthday and that was a criminal offence. I felt like crawling under a rock.
Funny how life in a marriage goes. As a husband, you mow the lawn, trim the hedges, and prune the bougainvillea and go through the torture of having the thorns tear the skin from your hands. You are the good husband. Nothing matters when a husband forgets his wife's birthday.
What excuse could I possibly give? The truth is that I spent the day writing job applications to exit my present job, which I dislike. Some time during the day I thought of my wife's birthday, yes it's tomorrow, 12 August. The whole working day had passed and I did not call to say "happy birthday babes!" I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
I decided not to go home early and 'limed' with my friends until I thought she had reached. I left the company of my friends and went home. My wife was at home and I did not act as though the day was special to her. I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
I realized, while at home that something does not seem right. I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
I changed my clothes and hurried to the near by mall to purchase her a birthday gift at 7pm. I pushed the door of the mobile phone dealer and while purchasing an expensive phone to replace the one which my wife complained about. I foolishly stated to the sales representative that the phone was a birthday gift for my wife and that prior to entering the store, I had forgotten my wife's birthday. The contorted facial expression of the sales representative indicated to me that forgetting your wif'e's birthday was not a wise act.
I returned home bearing two gifts and made another irresponsible statement, " Happy birthday" as I held my hand out expecting her to take the first gift with a smile.
"Put it there." she said without paying me any attention. Imagine me at 8:45pm on the night of my wife's birthday presenting her with gift as though the day had now begun.
When we went to bed, I could feel her disappointment and I knew that it would be unwise to touch her in any passionate way. So I simply apologized and hope that tomorrow I will not have to go through any reminders from her or any of my friends that I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
One thing is for certain, this birthday will never be forgotten. I may have to relive my insensitive act at every family gathering. I know someone will ask her tomorrow, how did she spend her birthday. I can feel the pain in her response.
So what ever you do as a husband never forget your wife's birthday. The birthday of you wife is special. Treat it that way, if you are to enhance your marital relationship. There will never be an excuse for forgetting, as long as you are of a sane mind.
I have forgotten my mother's birthday and was forgiven. My daughter called me to informed me that her birthday had gone and I had not called to say, happy birthday. I was forgiven. I forgot my wife's birthday and that was a criminal offence. I felt like crawling under a rock.
Funny how life in a marriage goes. As a husband, you mow the lawn, trim the hedges, and prune the bougainvillea and go through the torture of having the thorns tear the skin from your hands. You are the good husband. Nothing matters when a husband forgets his wife's birthday.
What excuse could I possibly give? The truth is that I spent the day writing job applications to exit my present job, which I dislike. Some time during the day I thought of my wife's birthday, yes it's tomorrow, 12 August. The whole working day had passed and I did not call to say "happy birthday babes!" I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
I decided not to go home early and 'limed' with my friends until I thought she had reached. I left the company of my friends and went home. My wife was at home and I did not act as though the day was special to her. I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
I realized, while at home that something does not seem right. I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
I changed my clothes and hurried to the near by mall to purchase her a birthday gift at 7pm. I pushed the door of the mobile phone dealer and while purchasing an expensive phone to replace the one which my wife complained about. I foolishly stated to the sales representative that the phone was a birthday gift for my wife and that prior to entering the store, I had forgotten my wife's birthday. The contorted facial expression of the sales representative indicated to me that forgetting your wif'e's birthday was not a wise act.
I returned home bearing two gifts and made another irresponsible statement, " Happy birthday" as I held my hand out expecting her to take the first gift with a smile.
"Put it there." she said without paying me any attention. Imagine me at 8:45pm on the night of my wife's birthday presenting her with gift as though the day had now begun.
When we went to bed, I could feel her disappointment and I knew that it would be unwise to touch her in any passionate way. So I simply apologized and hope that tomorrow I will not have to go through any reminders from her or any of my friends that I had forgotten my wife's birthday.
One thing is for certain, this birthday will never be forgotten. I may have to relive my insensitive act at every family gathering. I know someone will ask her tomorrow, how did she spend her birthday. I can feel the pain in her response.
So what ever you do as a husband never forget your wife's birthday. The birthday of you wife is special. Treat it that way, if you are to enhance your marital relationship. There will never be an excuse for forgetting, as long as you are of a sane mind.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
A Wife's Freedom
Some husbands believe that the signing of the marriage certificate gives them the right to own their wives. Slavery has long been abolished and in today's world no woman should treated as though she was someone's property. The marriage contract is not a title deed.
I have seen husbands do everything to prevent their wives from going out with their friends or attending social events by themselves. The action of some husbands range from jealousy to physical abuse to create fear that results in their wives' refusal of invitations or opportunities to have an entertaining time; instead these wives who are controlled stay at home to allow peace to reign.
But do these jealous husbands realize that their lack of trust only drives their wives to engage the very adulterous behaviour, the same thing these husbands fear. The fact that a wife is at home, does not mean that she is not engaging in acts of adultery. A word of advice, if a woman wants to "horn" you there is nothing you can do to stop it. She will create a scheme to teach you a lesson. Why fit her so tightly? She already has enough underwears and surely does not want an uncomfortable one.
Men get "horn" because they irresponsible, unkind, insensitive, abusive and simply foolish. In response, the wives find comfort in those males or females who show them the interest and love their need. In conclusion, as husbands do the right things, honour your vows, and give your wife her freedom. There is an old saying - if you let a bird out of a cage and it returns to you, you are its rightful owner. If it flies away and never returns, you were never its owner in the first place.
A wife's freedom is important to a lasting relationship. Marriage is build on trust try to enhance it.
I have seen husbands do everything to prevent their wives from going out with their friends or attending social events by themselves. The action of some husbands range from jealousy to physical abuse to create fear that results in their wives' refusal of invitations or opportunities to have an entertaining time; instead these wives who are controlled stay at home to allow peace to reign.
But do these jealous husbands realize that their lack of trust only drives their wives to engage the very adulterous behaviour, the same thing these husbands fear. The fact that a wife is at home, does not mean that she is not engaging in acts of adultery. A word of advice, if a woman wants to "horn" you there is nothing you can do to stop it. She will create a scheme to teach you a lesson. Why fit her so tightly? She already has enough underwears and surely does not want an uncomfortable one.
Men get "horn" because they irresponsible, unkind, insensitive, abusive and simply foolish. In response, the wives find comfort in those males or females who show them the interest and love their need. In conclusion, as husbands do the right things, honour your vows, and give your wife her freedom. There is an old saying - if you let a bird out of a cage and it returns to you, you are its rightful owner. If it flies away and never returns, you were never its owner in the first place.
A wife's freedom is important to a lasting relationship. Marriage is build on trust try to enhance it.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Emotional Intelligence and Your Marriage
When you understand your emotions and can read the emotions of your partner, your marital relationship will be enhanced. Understanding your emotions in relation to others is defined as emotional intelligence. There are five dimensions to this concept, which are:
Emotional intelligence helps us to cope with the demands and pressures in the marriage as well as better understand the personalities involved. Let's begin with the self-awareness factor. As a husband or wife, you must know what your are feeling. Do you want to have sex instead of going to the movies and can you express those feelings so that your partner reads you correctly. How would any one know how your are feeling, if you don't know what the feeling is -them your are being miserable and should be left alone.
Self-management is the ability of a husband or wife to manage his or her emotions and impulses. Imagine being at home and your partner has a sudden outburst of cursing or your are at a party and your partner is ready to go home and impolitely stamps out the room because you delayed to have a brief conversation with a work colleague. Oh how embarrassing!
Marriage life is not always smooth running, sometimes the wheels of marriage get deflated and the bliss halts for a period. Some marriages are faced with a situation in which one of the partners is working three days a weeks, in these harsh economic times. Yes my friends, setbacks and failures are likely in a marriage, therefore one of you must have the ability to persist, that is, one of your must become self-motivated so as to inspire and bring life back into the marriage. And the two shall become one, remember!
Empathy is the ability to sense how others are feeling. When your partner is ill or depressed, you must be sensitive to his or her feelings, rather than ignore what he or she is experiencing.
Then there is the social skills - the ability to handle the emotions of others. All individuals are different because of their personalities. Therefore, do not expect that the friends of your partner to behave like yours. You too may have a perception of one of you partner's friends that may be a false perception. So please exhibit those social skills that make your partner feels comfortable in your home.
Emotional intelligence is a key factor in a marriage. It sets the foundation for a harmonious relationship.
- Self-awareness
- self-management
- self-motivation
- empathy
- social skills
Emotional intelligence helps us to cope with the demands and pressures in the marriage as well as better understand the personalities involved. Let's begin with the self-awareness factor. As a husband or wife, you must know what your are feeling. Do you want to have sex instead of going to the movies and can you express those feelings so that your partner reads you correctly. How would any one know how your are feeling, if you don't know what the feeling is -them your are being miserable and should be left alone.
Self-management is the ability of a husband or wife to manage his or her emotions and impulses. Imagine being at home and your partner has a sudden outburst of cursing or your are at a party and your partner is ready to go home and impolitely stamps out the room because you delayed to have a brief conversation with a work colleague. Oh how embarrassing!
Marriage life is not always smooth running, sometimes the wheels of marriage get deflated and the bliss halts for a period. Some marriages are faced with a situation in which one of the partners is working three days a weeks, in these harsh economic times. Yes my friends, setbacks and failures are likely in a marriage, therefore one of you must have the ability to persist, that is, one of your must become self-motivated so as to inspire and bring life back into the marriage. And the two shall become one, remember!
Empathy is the ability to sense how others are feeling. When your partner is ill or depressed, you must be sensitive to his or her feelings, rather than ignore what he or she is experiencing.
Then there is the social skills - the ability to handle the emotions of others. All individuals are different because of their personalities. Therefore, do not expect that the friends of your partner to behave like yours. You too may have a perception of one of you partner's friends that may be a false perception. So please exhibit those social skills that make your partner feels comfortable in your home.
Emotional intelligence is a key factor in a marriage. It sets the foundation for a harmonious relationship.
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