Emotional Intelligence and Your Marriage

When you understand your emotions and can read the emotions of your partner, your marital relationship will be enhanced. Understanding your emotions in relation to others is defined as emotional intelligence. There are five dimensions to this concept, which are:

• Self-awareness
• self-management
• self-motivation
• empathy
• social skills

The concept of emotional intelligence is used very often in management, and there is no reason why it should not apply to a marriage. The simple fact is that marriage is an institution that requires proper management. If you doubt me, try living with your partner without a plan for your future; without organizing yourselves, that is determining who should do what and who should make what decisions in family affairs; without establishing proper ways to communicate and resolve conflict, which we call leadership; and without being able to correct your faults. There must be control in the marriage when we deviate for our goals.

Emotional intelligence helps us to cope with the demands and pressures in the marriage as well as better understand the personalities involved. Let's begin with the self-awareness factor. As a husband or wife, you must know what your are feeling. Do you want to have sex instead of going to the movies and can you express those feelings so that your partner reads you correctly. How would any one know how your are feeling, if you don't know what the feeling is -them your are being miserable and should be left alone.

Self-management is the ability of a husband or wife to manage his or her emotions and impulses. Imagine being at home and your partner has a sudden outburst of cursing or your are at a party and your partner is ready to go home and impolitely stamps out the room because you delayed to have a brief conversation with a work colleague. Oh how embarrassing!

Marriage life is not always smooth running, sometimes the wheels of marriage get deflated and the bliss halts for a period. Some marriages are faced with a situation in which one of the partners is working three days a weeks, in these harsh economic times. Yes my friends, setbacks and failures are likely in a marriage, therefore one of you must have the ability to persist, that is, one of your must become self-motivated so as to inspire and bring life back into the marriage. And the two shall become one, remember!

Empathy is the ability to sense how others are feeling. When your partner is ill or depressed, you must be sensitive to his or her feelings, rather than ignore what he or she is experiencing.

Then there is the social skills - the ability to handle the emotions of others. All individuals are different because of their personalities. Therefore, do not expect that the friends of your partner to behave like yours. You too may have a perception of one of you partner's friends that may be a false perception. So please exhibit those social skills that make your partner feels comfortable in your home.

Emotional intelligence is a key factor in a marriage. It sets the foundation for a harmonious relationship.