On the 13 October, I became unemployed. The excuse given to me by my director was that the depressed economy of Barbados had influenced a restructuring process in the company. Simple explanation, but I was unemployed for the first time in my thirty-eight years of working life.
I drove to my wife's office and informed her of the most recent development in my life; though shocked her response was in simple words " don't worry, the bills will be paid"
The weeks rolled on as I accepted dole, at times with shame as I joined the unemployment line to hear my number and signed the blue paper to indicate that during my last visit, I did not earned any income and I had made every attempt to find a job. Receiving the mailed cheques was a consolation in the scheme of things, but the sum was not enough for me to make the financial contribution to my home, as a real man should.Real men support and contribute significantly the the upkeep of the family, so I thought. To be at home, with your wife working and being the bread winner is not what a real man should allow. It could be a rather depressing situation for a husband
The weeks passed on, the bills were paid and are being paid. Melancholy has not affected our marriage. I have learned how to hang out bed linen, the sheets are interesting. There is a technique- First find the corner of the sheet and pin it to the line, then locate the matching corner, fold and pin together. The rest is easy. I realized when ironing what heat levels are needed for various fabrics. Thats knowledge allowed me to prepare my wife's uniforms with confidence. One wash day, I saw my neighbour watching curiously as I pinned the clothes on the line. In my mind I answered her, "What, is there anything effeminate about a man performing household task?". For me, the real meaning of marriage is experienced when the underlying clauses of the marriage vows are practised - " for better or worst, in sickness or health". When situations in the marriage appear to be on the downside, it is then that the marital relationship is tested.
My wife continues to demonstrate that our marriage is built on true love and that the true test of marriage begins when the chips are down. She is in phase with our vows. I now understand that there is no room in marriage for the machismo, but a real man is not who accepts the challenges in his marital relationship and overcome.
