Well believe it we are animals first and human beings after. When we allow instinct to nullify our reasoning, the trouble begins. What is instinct? the dictionary defines it as " a largely inherited and unadulterated tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to an environmental stimuli without reason." Yes, some of us in a marital relationship response to situation without reasoning. We just do not think of consequences of our actions. So we fight, cuss and shout at each other. When these actions continues our relationship is challenged and derailed.
We a husband strikes his wife, he is actually exhibiting a rage built on frustration in the marriage. He has lost all ability to amicably discuss the issue or problem in an intelliegent manner. He needs to be counselled in anger management. It is not unsual for women to be the abuser, but there are times that the abusive behaviour shows up and can be rather devastaing. She too is frustrated and has no other way of dealing with a submissive husband who has failed overtime to be a man. Submissiveness is an attempt to appease so as to avoid a confrontation, but what the submissive partner does not understand is that such behaviour gives the other partner a frightening measure of power.
Experts in domestic violence note that this behaviour is the possible result of an abusive situation in one of the partner childhood. Other causes of domestic violence is alcoholism or drug abuse, jealousy and poor self esteem.
WebMD in its mental health section, lists the following behaviours to look for in a relationship prone to domestic violence. Does your partner:
- Embarrass or belittle you or put you down?
- Say hurtful things to you?
- Dislike your friends and family and discourage your relationships with others?
- Make all the decisions in the relationship?
- Chastise you after social functions for talking with other people?
- Act jealous of people you talk to?
- Blame you for his or her mistakes?
- Try to make you feel worthless or helpless?
- Forbid or prevent you from working or going to school?
- Keep money, credit cards, and checking accounts away from you?
- Control access to your medicines or medical devices?
- Threaten to have you deported?
- Throw dishes or other objects?
- Abuse your children or pet when mad at you?
- Push, slap, kick, or otherwise assault you?
- Demand sex, make you perform sexual acts you are not comfortable with, or sexually assault you?
While it is important to show love, you must first love yourself. If any of these behaviors are occurring, you need to seek help quickly.
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